


Malis Sanguis

by ThatCrazyShipper



Category: OMFGitsJackandDean, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, F/M, Gryffindor Dean, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hufflepuff Phil, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ravenclaw Chris, Ravenclaw PJ, Slytherin Dan, Slytherin Jack, Swearing, basically its all angsty and fighty, other characters to be added - Freeform, tune in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 09:25:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7042399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatCrazyShipper/pseuds/ThatCrazyShipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan wanted to get through fifth year unscathed, but old problems keep on coming back, and new ones just keep on finding their way to him.</p><p>Jack needed to find who he was, and what he truly wanted.</p><p>Dean was perfectly average before new people and relationships got mixed up in his life.</p><p>Phil gets a new tutee that could possibly change his life forever.</p><p>Geez, karma, cut a guy a break once in a while, yeah?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Malis Sanguis

**Author's Note:**

> Expect updates and heartbreak! I'm not even sorry.
> 
> -Angel

** Chapter One **

****

Part One – Bad Blood

 

Oh, how Dan hated the first day of school.

 

Sure, you’ve got the buzz of going to King’s Cross – the bustling of the public, the tiled floor that clacks as high-heeled women stride across the platform, all part of the infectious London crowd (though standing around that bloody barrier for ten minutes so Muggles don’t see you magically disappear into a wall really kills the mood). The underground is what defines London, with the smell of food, rubbish, and even a little bit of burning melting together to form the distinguishable scent that can’t be replicated anywhere else. The little excited first years running around do give you that infectious childish glee, and Dan can’t help but get wrapped up in the blissful chaos around him. Though, the train ride itself does prove to be a problem for Mr. Howell. Well. This year, at least.

 

“Dan, honey, are you sure you’ve got everything? Because I’m sure I saw one of your Arithmancy textbooks lying on-“

 

“Mum, I’m fine, honestly. You fuss too much,” Dan smiled at his mum, who was walking beside him as he made his way towards platforms 9 and 10, sarcastically rolling his eyes when she went to say something else. As much as it was unnecessary, he appreciated everything his mum did for him. She’d been through as much, if not more, than Dan had over this summer, yet she still managed to keep a smile on her face, for his sake. There was something special about his mum, Dan thought, and he was more grateful than he showed.

 

As they came closer to their destination, they stopped to say their goodbyes for that year, at least until Christmas. Dan’s mum quickly grabbed him by the shoulders and enveloped him in a hug, whilst Dan tried to wriggle his way out of it. Even though she was at least half a foot shorter than him, she still managed to keep the protesting boy in her grasp.

 

“Just don’t hesitate to owl me if you need anything, okay? Especially if it’s about…” she trailed off, but Dan didn’t need her to speak to know what she was going to say. Dad. The one thought that had been troubling him most over the summer, even over the stuff that happened at the end of fourth year. But, Dan didn’t like to think about that.

 

“I know.” A moment of content silence was shared between them, and Dan broke away from the hug, picking up his trunk from where it was on the ground next to him. “I’ll write to you once I’ve unpacked and all that, yeah?”

 

“I know you will, love. Just remember-“

 

“That you’re there for me. I know.” Dan smiled at her once more, and gave her a kiss on the cheek, before walking towards the pillar behind him. He looked up, and noted the time on the large, green hanging clock above them. _10:37,_ he thought. _Great. I get to stay on that platform by myself for even longer. Aren’t I a lucky guy?_

The wall was in front of him now, and even though he’d done it for four years, there was still that feeling of uncertainty as he entered this different world. A sense of unknown that filled Dan with fear, and a queasiness that made him want to run back into his mum’s arms. Though, he quickly shook that off, and hastily stepped through it, not even caring if Muggles were around to see it.

 

In an instant, his world had been transformed. Instead of busy London workers power-walking to try and catch their train, and stressed, underpaid conductors shouting at kids playing too close to the yellow line, he was greeted by a hubbub of excitement. Witches, wizards, and Muggle parents alike all stood on Platform 9 and ¾ , brightly coloured robes and an array of animals scattered about. Instead of grubby, tiled floors, they were a pristine white, illuminated by the morning light being let in by the dome glass roof above the railway. The noise hadn’t disappeared, just transformed – laughter and yelling from fellow school friends, screeches from owls, and even some explosions were the music to Dan’s ears. He breathed a sigh of relief – this is where he belonged.

 

Looking around, Dan couldn’t see anyone he wanted to particularly avoid, so he made his way to one of the open carriage doors, carrying his trunk behind him. Dan had always sat in this carriage (third from the front) ever since first year, except the only difference this time is that he was going into fifth year, and he was alone. He didn’t have the people he’d only realised he relied on so much when he lost them. But, he didn’t like to think about that.

 

Fourth year had been crazy for Dan. It started off well enough; he kept himself to himself in most respects, and he had two best friends that always had his back. He was even doing well in classes, except Charms. Dan and Charms went just about as well together as a werewolf in the full moon – horribly painful for the recipient, and blood was most likely to be spilled. In third year, Dan had actually nearly taken Flitwick’s finger off (the poor bloke had never looked at him the same way since, he swore), so it was pretty obvious to everyone around him that it wasn’t his strong point.

 

Though, Transfiguration he reckon he had nailed, and Potions - although that may be due to the fact that Slughorn did favour him as one of his better students. But, hey. Dan wasn’t complaining.

 

Then as fourth year went on, things changed. He broke up with his girlfriend of nearly two years, Cat, which was enough travesty as it was. Cat was heartbroken, and it didn’t end clean. There were fights for weeks and weeks after Dan mentioned that he just wasn’t that into her anymore – which wasn’t as much of a dick move as it sounds, honestly – and neither of them could take it. Not to mention that one of his best friends at the time, Alex, had been caught cheating on his girlfriend at the time, Carrie. Things had gone to shit, and they all knew it.

 

Yet something else was troubling Dan more than anything else. He knew that the reason he’d grown apart from Cat wasn’t that she wasn’t attractive, no, that _certainly_ wasn’t the problem. It was just that Dan had never felt the way for Cat as she had for him, and he knew why. He just didn’t want to face it.

 

Dan pulled his trunk from behind him up above him, in the overhead compartment of a booth that was thankfully empty. It was situated near the middle, so he had no idea how it was empty this close to departure. He figured that the younger years were too afraid to sit in this carriage with all of the ‘big kids’, which he was grateful for. All Dan wanted right now was a peaceful carriage ride, no drama, no fussing. Just pure, obsolete loneliness. He could learn to live with it.

 

As Dan turned to sit down on one of the plush seats, he was interrupted by a loud knock on the doorway of the booth. His head immediately snapped to see some of his fellow house-mates, and he blanched. _This is the last thing I need,_ he thought, as the knocker stepped into his booth slightly.

 

“All right there, fag?” Alex grinned, clearly pleased with himself as his cronies laughed and jeered behind him. Amongst them, Dan saw a few people he recognised from younger years, though the one that really stuck out was his other ex-best friend. Jack.

 

“Please, Alex, I’m not here to cause any shit, please jus-“ Dan was cut off by Alex’s hand suddenly being around his throat. Alex had lunged forwards, and was currently pinning the struggling-to-breathe Dan against the back of the booth and out of his seat.

 

“Well, guess what, prick. I am.” Alex hesitated for a second, clenching his free hand into a fist, but he faltered, and obviously thought better of it. He released Dan from his vice grip, and Dan slammed back down into his seat, panting, as the rest of the Slytherin lot left his booth, laughing as they went. Dan considered chasing after them and putting up a real fight, but there was no point. It was never going to fix the damage that had been done last year.

 

 _Well,_ Dan thought. _I think I deserve a nap._

And, with that, Dan locked his booth door, and curled up under his cloak, letting his mind drift slightly from what had just happened.

 

*****

 

Part Two – New Perspective

“Jackie Boy!”

 

Jack rolled his eyes at the nickname, swivelling around to face Alex, who was walking over to where Jack had been leaning against his front door. Alex walked past him, and Jack just started walking beside him, falling into the routine that they had gotten used to this summer. It had become a ritual – Alex would owl him in the morning, and Jack would meet him at 10 outside his house, and they would just go. Exploring the London streets, playing Quidditch in some field, or even just sitting and talking. Those were the days that Jack loved most, but they rarely came along.

 

Though, today was different. Today was Thursday, 1st September 2005. Today was the first day of their fifth year.

 

“You know,” Jack started, breaking their comfortable silence. “I feel kind of bad for making your mum lug all of our stuff over to the station. You sure we can’t help?”

 

“Nah,” Alex replied, dismissing it with a wave of his hand. “I’m sure the old hag can manage it.” Alex laughed to himself, and Jack smiled slightly, used to Alex’s insensitive kind of humour. They fell back into their shared silence, and Jack took in everything around him. The hurried workers and tourists filling the street, which was narrow and grimy, but nobody seemed to pay attention. Jack did. He loved London. The smell of burning petrol was intoxicating to him, and having to constantly be alert and moving gave him a kind of adrenaline rush you can’t get outside of the city. Around them stood tall blocks of flats, with black soot up their sides, and bin bags lining their front-doorsteps.

 

 _It’s strange how you can go from big mansions to shitty council flats_ , Jack thought. _But, that’s London for you._

They left one of the back streets and found themselves on an even busier road, with red double deckers towering over them, angry drivers honking their horns, and the smell of greasy burger vans that were scattered along the pathway. Though, Jack couldn’t take long to admire it all before they were being swept up with the stampede that is the London public.

“So, are you excited to start your O.W.L.s year, Alex? Have you revised?” Jack said sarcastically, knowing full well that Alex hadn’t done either of those things.

 

“Oh, definitely. I can confidently say that I’ve taken my education into my own hands, and that I’m a proud student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Fuck, I might even be elected Minister of Magic next week!” The pair laughed at their heavily facetious exchange, still walking down the streets, pushing through and shouting over other pedestrians. Neither of them cared, and that’s what Jack loved about their friendship. He could just _be_ , and it didn’t matter. No consequences, nothing. Sure, there were bad times, but he didn’t focus on those. If he did, he’d end up like Dan, and he couldn’t have that. He liked the distractions; it kept him blissfully ignorant to the shit that they caused, and he needed that to live with himself, he supposed.

 

Turning a corner, he saw the massive building that was King’s Cross Station lurching over the road, swallowing up people who were obviously way too late to that meeting they had, or spewing out those who looked drained. He knew this was the year that was going to change things, he could just _feel_ it, and it all started here.

 

They’d stopped now, having reached the car park not too far away from the station that they’d arranged to meet Alex’s mum in, and Jack turned to look at Alex. Surprisingly, he was looking right back, and he gave Jack a look as if he knew exactly what he was just thinking. It was sympathetic, and very _human_ , which was very unlike Alex. Though, Jack took it as a good thing, and offered a small smile as a symbol of the understanding that they shared. Even though Jack and Alex didn’t speak too much in their friendship, Jack knew what he was saying. It was a message, no, a warning. Alex would be there for Jack, but only if Jack was the person that he wanted him to be. That’s what frightened Jack the most.

 

He couldn’t let _those_ thoughts ruin everything he had. Not now, not ever.

 

Jack spotted Alex’s mum’s little white Corsa – really, it was the most Muggle mode of transportation the Days could think of – and stuck his hand up in a weak sort of wave. She pulled up beside the pair, looking flustered from the busy morning, and got out of the car.

 

“Well, boys, are we ready?” She stood for a second, hands on hips, as the pair shared a look. They both pushed off of the wall they had been leaning on, and made their way over to the boot of the car, as Alex’s mum followed not-too-closely behind. As Jack looked in, he saw blinking up at them through the back window were their two owls – Jack’s snowy owl called, creatively enough, Snowy, and Alex’s barn owl, Trixie.

 

Jack grinned, and pulled open the boot, immediately grabbing Snowy’s cage by the handle, and pulling out his trunk from underneath her. Alex did the same with his things, as Jack reached into the pocket of his blue hoodie, and pulled out a small treat for Snowy. She hooted, flapping her wings a little in excitement as Jack poked it through the metal cage bars. A few people turned and gave them a strange look (it’s not often you see a couple of fifteen year-olds holding owls in the middle of London, is it), but Jack didn’t care.

 

Slamming the boot shut, he turned to Alex’s mum, who was stood behind them waiting.

 

“Thank you, Leslie. It’s lovely of you to take all of our stuff over,” Jack said, with his infamous charming smile. Alex’s mum merely chuckled, seeing right through it.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” she started. “Though, why you couldn’t come with me in the car, I do not know.”

 

“It’s tradition, mum!” Alex exclaimed, gallivanting over and ruffling her hair from behind her, before wrapping his arms around her shoulders in a hug. “Just don’t miss me too much, yeah?”

 

“I’ll try not to, love, but no promises,” Alex’s mum responded, chuckling and batting her son off of her shoulders. “Now, hurry up, Georgie’s at home, and you know what your dad’s like in the mornings.”

 

“If you mean a lazy arsehole, he’s like that any other time of the day, as well,” Alex joked, dodging his mum’s playful slap. Jack simply smiled at this altercation. He wished his mum could be like that with him, but _obviously_ she couldn’t. He felt the emotions brimming from where he had supressed them, but he willed them away. He just had to deal with it, but not now.

 

Jack cleared his throat, and Alex turned from his half-play fight with his mum, remembering that Jack was still standing there. He quickly moved over to Jack, wrapping his arm around his shoulders instead. Alex immediately started walking at that point, having picked up his things on the way to Jack, and called over his shoulder to his mum.

 

“Bye, mum!”

 

“Bye, Leslie! Thank you!” Jack chimed in, turning as much as he could from the way Alex was draped over him, and smiled at her. She smiled back, waving, and then got back into her car. It wasn’t long before she drove past the pair, honking her horn, and they both waved. Alex breathed out deeply.

 

“You ready, Jackie?”

 

“You know it.”

 

*****

 

Part Three – The Middle

Dean Dobbs was okay.

 

He had some good friends, alright grades, the home situation was fine. He was just generally adequate, and he thought that he was okay with that. He thought.

 

9:36. Dean had been lying in bed now for over half an hour, just staring at the ceiling, half willing himself to get out of bed and shower like an actual human being, and half hoping he doesn’t have to get up at all. His bed was cosy, and it was a good friend; it never spoke back, and they never had arguments. Life was simple with a bed. Why wasn’t everyone a bed?

 

Dean groaned, rolling out of his bed onto the floor, dragging his duvet with him, which curled around him like a comfort cocoon as he laid on the floor for a few moments. He sighed, and pushed up from his cushioned arms and sat on his knees momentarily before pushing up again to stand. Though, he immediately regretted this decision, as the duvet got caught beneath his feet, and he slipped, fell, and slammed his face into the edge of the bed.

 

He merely laid there for what felt like an age before dully mumbling into the bedframe.

 

“Owww.”

 

To his right, he heard rapid, clunky footsteps coming up his stairs, and then heard the door slam open against the wall. Small hands and legs landed on his back as the person jumped on him.

 

“Deeeeeeeean!” The girl cried excitedly, inadvertently pressing Dean’s face even more into the uncomfortable metal bedframe. He quickly moved so his face was on the floor.

 

“Good morning, Rosie,” he mumbled, as she leaped off of his back for him to stand up, without the duvet cocoon this time.

 

“Mum says you need to have a shower and come down for breakfast, because we have pancakes, and you stink,” she said very quickly, chuckling at the end at her own joke.

 

“Thank you, Rosie,” Dean said sarcastically, ruffling her hair. He walked over to his wardrobe to grab his clothes he was going to change into later. “Are you excited for your first day?”

 

“Yeah!” Rosie exclaimed, jumping up to sit on Dean’s bed as he threw clothes down onto it. “I can’t wait to get on the train, and get sorted! I still think I’m gonna be a…uh…”

 

“A Gryffindor?” Dean asked, smiling at her.

 

“Yeah, a Gryffindor! Like you!” She beamed up at him. _She’s such a Hufflepuff_ , Dean thought, rolling his eyes as he picked up his towels from the rack on the side of his wardrobe.

 

“Well, I’m going to have a shower now, tell mum I’ll be down in fifteen minutes, yeah?”

 

“Okay, but remember we have to be gone by ten!” Rosie yelled after Dean, as he walked into the bathroom. His shower didn’t take long, and he pulled on his Fall Out Boy shirt and black skinny jeans on quickly enough, so he was soon walking down the stairs to join his mum and sister in the kitchen.

 

“-go round, _then_ you pull it through the loop.”

 

“What like this?”

 

“No, you did that _underneath_. Here, let me show you.” Dean walked into his cosy wooden kitchen to see his mum trying to teach Rosie how to put a tie on. They were using Dean’s red and gold Gryffindor tie that was at the top of his trunk that was presently sitting open on the kitchen side.

 

“Agh, mum!” Dean exclaimed, walking over to his trunk. His books and clothes were practically spilling out of the case, as Dean had _way_ too many books to buy this year. Really, who would’ve thought fifth year would prove to be this difficult already?

 

“Sorry, dear, I didn’t think you would mind,” his mum said, still concentrating on getting Rosie to put the tie on correctly. Dean didn’t reply, and simply walked over to the dwindling stack of pancakes on a plate on the kitchen table. He grabbed two, and walked through to the living room to eat, ignoring his mum’s protests of ‘crumbs on the couch’, or something like that. He rummaged for the remote – which had fallen through a gap in the sofa cushion, and turned on the TV. Looking up at the clock on the cream walls, he noted that they only had ten minutes before they had to leave.

_SpongeBob it is, then._

 

Just as he switched to Nickelodeon, he heard his mother shouting at him again from the kitchen.

 

“Dean! Come on, you need to get your stuff ready!” He rolled his eyes. _You’re the one who messed my stuff up in the first place,_ he thought, but he didn’t say anything. He got off of the sofa, and walked back into the kitchen, where his sister was beaming proudly up at him.

 

“Look, I did it!” His Gryffindor tie was hanging around her neck on top of her t-shirt, and was tied perfectly. Dean tugged the bottom of it jokingly.

 

“Not bad, Rosie Posie,” he said lovingly, moving over to his trunk to pack everything away. Time was ticking, and they _couldn’t_ be late. Plus, Dean wouldn’t mind getting there earlier – he could get a good seat on the train that way. Living in the northern area did prove difficult to him, as it meant that they had to take an even longer drive to come back up in the same direction to get to the castle. It was stupid. Why didn’t they have multiple stops? It didn’t make any sense to Dean.

 

Dean packed relatively speedily, and they hit the road. Rosie dibsed the front seat, but Dean secretly thanked her, as it meant that he could lay in the back with Maxwell, his black cat. Rosie’s owl, Lily, sat in her cage in the boot, so Dean took that as an opportunity to spread across the back seats and take a quick half an hour nap before they reached the station, Maxwell curled up on his chest purring. Although, this nap didn’t last nearly as long as Dean had hoped before he felt the car coming to a stop, and heard the slam of the car doors as his family made their way to get Rosie’s things.

 

He followed them at a leisurely pace, making sure that Maxwell was secure in his carry case before grabbing his trunk from the boot. It was at moments like this that Dean regretted staying inside all summer, because whatever excuse for muscle he had before had ultimately withered away, except maybe his hand muscles from playing video games (Battlefield 2 had pretty much consumed his life all holidays).

 

Carrying the trunk behind him, his hands burning, he led the way to King’s Cross, and his family followed. Dean, having done this four times before, naturally found his way to the platform that he needed to get to, the time on the large green clock above reading 10:50. He had ten minutes to find Ben, Chris, Phil, and PJ. Should be simple enough, right?

 

“Umm…Dean?” Dean turned around from where he was in front of the barrier and saw his little sister looking down at the floor, shifting uncomfortably with Lily’s cage in her hands. “I’m…scared.” Dean immediately laid his trunk and Maxwell’s case on the floor next to him, and bent down to Rosie’s height.

 

“Hey, it’ll be okay, I promise. From here on out, everything is going to be fine, in fact, it’s gonna be great. You’re going to meet great friends that will stay with you for life, and learn about everything you were supposed to. I promise, nothing bad is going to happen, okay?” Rosie looked up from the floor at that, and looked into Dean’s eyes. He saw tears threatening to come out, so he gently placed Lily’s cage on the floor, and pulled her in for a hug. She sniffed, presumably having a small cry, before she pushed back, wiped her face, and nodded.

 

“Okay,” she said, her voice wavering, but still more confident than before. “Okay, let’s go.”

 

With that, she picked up Lily’s cage, and ran through the barrier, not even waiting for Dean or their mum. Dean’s mum came up to him as he picked up his trunk and Maxwell’s case again.

 

“Thank you,” she said kindly, lightly squeezing his arm in gratitude. Dean looked at her over his shoulder and nodded, before taking off through the barrier himself. His mum soon followed with Rosie’s case, handed it to Rosie, and kissed Dean’s forehead goodbye. He smiled at her once more, and then led Rosie onto the train.

 

This was the start of something. He could feel it.

*****

 

Part Four – Here It Goes Again

“N-no, Chris you don’t underst-AH!” PJ was cut off mid-sentence by a still-laughing Chris barrelling into his side and pinning him down onto the plush seats of the Hogwarts train. Opposite them, Ben sat chuckling at their antics, with one earphone in, listening to the new Fall Out Boy album (as recommended by Dean and Phil, but mostly Dean). Phil was just trying not to get squashed by the now wrestling PJ and Chris, who were on the same seat as he was, so he had himself boxed into the corner.

 

“What was that, PJ? I didn’t quite catch it,” Chris said, now having PJ pinned completely underneath him, PJ’s arms held back, and Chris sitting on his stomach.

 

“Okay, now, let’s keep this train ride PG-13, shall we?” Ben chimed in from where he was changing the song on his old iPod.

 

“Exactly, Chris. You could corrupt a nice, sweet, charming guy like me,” PJ teased, grinning at Chris’ false offended look.

 

“Me? Corrupt you? Never,” Chris replied sarcastically before bending down and planting a small kiss on PJ’s lips. It was brief, but PJ still managed to use it as an opportunity to break free from Chris’ grip, sending him falling onto the floor. Everyone broke into fits of laughter, even Chris, who was groaning on the ground from the fall.

 

“Woah, what have I walked into in here?” The four boys in the booth looked up to see their remaining member Dean standing in the doorway, giving a half puzzled, half exasperated look at the boy on the floor.

 

“Orgy. A massive, flaming homosexual orgy,” Ben replied coolly from the corner, his dry humour just making the situation even more ridiculous. Dean paused for a moment, taking everything in, and decided to take it in his stride, taking his seat next to Ben.

 

“Well, count me in.”

 

The whole group erupted into laughter, even Ben, who sat shaking his head, chuckling lightly. Chris pulled himself up off of the floor, and sat himself between PJ and Phil. Phil noticed that Dean looked a bit flustered.

 

“So, Dean, why were you so late? You usually meet us on the platform,” Phil asked.

 

“Oh, it’s my sister’s first day, and she was a bit scared, so I had to dump her with some other first years who looked nice, I dunno,” Dean waved off, taking the time to grab his trunk from in front of him and putting it on the rack above his and Ben’s seat. He grabbed Maxwell’s case from beside him on the seat, and placed it in his lap. Maxwell meowed, and Phil’s cat, Neo, hissed from inside his case by Phil’s trunk.

 

“Aww, good big brother Deany helping out his widdle sister,” Chris cooed from across the seats, pulling a face to go with his ridiculous voice he was putting on.

 

“Yeah, well, I can’t just rely on my good looks, I have to be a nice guy sometimes,” Dean replied sarcastically, earning a laugh from the recipient.

 

The group had been doing this for years, minus Ben. Phil, PJ, Chris, and Dean had met on the train ride originally, with Phil and Dean meeting on the platform. Phil had been on the train twice before the others had, so he had some experience. However, he didn’t really have anyone to sit with, so his mum took it upon herself to find someone who looked equally as confused and Muggle-y. They stumbled upon Dean, and they migrated their way towards each other to try and find out what was going on. From there, the boys had decided to stick together, so got a booth together. PJ then came to meet them before the train had departed later on, as he couldn’t find a booth with people that weren’t girls (because that mattered when you were eleven), or looked like they were going to punch him in the face if he came near them. Chris only joined them about an hour into the train ride, as he’d been kicked out of another booth from what Chris had said was “a totally bullshit fight, but his nose was spewing blood _everywhere_.”

 

Ben’s case was much different, though. He didn’t join Hogwarts until halfway through their third year, as he’d been home schooled before that. Apparently, Ben’s dad had managed to sort something out with McGonagall where he’d learnt all of the required material from a cover teacher who had volunteered themselves to be a tutor. Then, he joined mid-way through third year, his fourth year. Nobody knows why he was home schooled, or why he even came to Hogwarts after that, but Ben said it was personal, so nobody pried too much.

 

Though, what was even weirder was Ben’s first day. It was the first, and maybe even the only time, that people can remember a student coming in outside of first year. He’d come in one evening at dinner time to stunned silence. Led by McGonagall (with stool and hat in hand), she brought him to the front, and sat him down. All eyes were on him, most were confused, as for them it was just a Monday dinner, but for Ben, it was the day he had been waiting for.

 

“You’re a bit older than I usually see,” the Sorting Hat said. “You’ve got a heart, that much is true, and you’re one to stand with your brothers. Though, you’ve got determination, and a drive to succeed with that brain of yours. Let’s see…Ravenclaw!”

 

There was a moment of awkward silence, but then someone on the Ravenclaw table started clapping, and a wave of confused applause came from across the hall. Ben felt mortified, but he played it off with his cool and casual persona, so when McGonagall indicated that he take a seat at the Ravenclaw table, he ignored all of the invasive stares and whispers, and simply sat down. A plate had magically appeared in front of him, and a glass, so he picked up the pitcher of pumpkin juice, poured himself a drink, and started eating his dinner.

 

Thankfully, the boys next to him started up some conversation, and they offered him to hang out with them and a couple others from other houses. Turned out that they were Chris and PJ, who were third years, but he didn’t mind. They were accommodating enough, so he figured that he would try it out. Two years later, and he was still with them, on the train going into his sixth year, and laughing like he wouldn’t like to be anywhere else.

*****

 

Part Five – History

“Wh-what?” Cat stammered. Her face had fallen instantly into a mixture of hurt, confusion, and disbelief. She walked back slowly, as if in some kind of trance, as she refused to look away from Dan’s eyes in front of her. After a few moments, she chuckled incredulously. “Well, what do you mean by “I don’t think I like you like that anymore”, huh?!”

 

Dan shifted uncomfortably under her stare, knowing that what he was going to do was going to change everything forever. This was the beginning of the end, and he knew it. Anything else that happened from now on was on his back. So why he carried on with it, he had no idea.

 

“I just don’t think that…this is working out?” he mumbled, phrased more like a question than an actual statement. This presumably infuriated Cat, as she started towards him, brows narrowed and voice raised.

 

“What do you mean?! What isn’t working out?! We’ve been together for nearly _two years_ now, Dan, and you just want to throw that away because you “think” you don’t like me anymore?!” Dan winced as she reached where he was standing – if she was any angrier, steam would be pouring from her ears, he thought. Though, he tried to stay rational.

 

“It’s nothing to do with you, honestly, it isn-“

 

“Then what the hell is it, Dan?!” He considered that for a moment. He knew exactly what it was. But, he also knew that he couldn’t risk something like that going out into the public like that, he couldn’t. He already beats himself up enough about it as it is, but if everyone else found out, it would be hell, and he knew it. It was his secret, but it wasn’t his to tell. He kept it not only for his sake, but for everyone’s – so they didn’t have to face losing a friend, a classmate, a son, and in this case, a boyfriend.

 

Cat looked up at Dan, who had tears welling in his eyes, which seemed to calm her a little. She softened her stance, and put an arm on Dan’s, which he quickly shook away. Cat took a step forwards slightly, trying to fix the distance between them.

 

“Look…I have no idea what this is about, but…hell, Dan, you mean too much to me for me to let this go without a fight. I’m sure whatever it is, we can work through it, like we’ve done countless times, really. I just…” Cat deeply exhaled as she considered what she was going to say, looking at the floor. Dan knew what was coming. Those three words that had never been uttered in their near two years of dating. Those three words that locked them in place, and meant so little, yet so much at the same time. He could feel the anticipation gnawing away at him, combined with sheer panic and desperation. He couldn’t let her do this.

 

“I lov-“

 

“I’m gay.”

 

Shocked silence wrapped those words as the pair realised what had just been said, and let them sink in. For both of them, it felt like an eternity, and every movement seemed like it had been slowed down ten times. Cat’s eyes locked with Dan’s, and Dan couldn’t read her face. He had no idea what she was feeling – it was oddly calm, neutral even. If he was honest to himself, Dan would’ve preferred the bitter explosion rather than this agonising expectancy. It was what felt like minutes before one of them spoke, though in all reality, it was only a few moments.

 

“You…you…” Cat stammered, face scrunching up into confusion as she slowly started walking backwards.

 

“I’m gay,” Dan breathed, cursing his own lack of self-control. He was already in too deep.

 

“Tha-that’s not possible…” Cat mumbled, still moving away from him. It was then Dan who took a few cautious steps forwards towards the other.

 

“Look…I-I don’t want this getting around, but I also figured that by keeping it to myself, in the end, I would’ve just hurt you mo-“

 

“Well, it’s a bit fucking late for that, now.”

 

“I-I know, and I’m sorry. I really am. I just felt like you had a right to know.” Cat’s anger had definitely flared at this point, as she was no longer moving away from him, rather coming towards him at full force.

 

“You’re right. I did have a right to know. I had a right to know _two fucking years ago_ when you asked me out, or how about our first kiss, or our first date. Our first trip to Hogsmeade, does any of this mean _anything_ to you?!”

 

“Of course it does!” Dan exclaimed, feeling uncomfortable from Cat’s anger.

 

“Then _why the fuck_ did you lead me on this whole time?! Leading me on, like I’m some kind of cover-up, is that all I was to you? Some bullshit throw-away so people wouldn’t know that you’re ga-“

 

“No!” Dan yelled. Cat stopped at that, startled at Dan’s sudden outburst. “No,” Dan repeated, somewhat more calmly this time.

 

“Then tell me, Dan, just before I go,” Cat said, her voice trembling as the tears threatened to fall. “Did you ever love me?”

 

Dan opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it again. _Did I ever really love her?_ He thought, cursing himself for how badly this has all turned out. Cat studied his face, and seemed to come to her own conclusions, as she nodded, and turned away. As she walked away, Dan wanted to go after her, try to patch it all up, make it just like it was a few minutes ago, but he knew it was too late. Looking back on it, Dan still wished he’d said something. Instead, he just stood where he was, and crumpled as he felt the tears burn his cheeks.

 

*****

 

With a start, Dan woke up to find his hand uncomfortably crushed under his head, and that the sky outside of his window has turned an ominous black. He took a few seconds to regain the steady beat of his heart (he really hates those dreams), and then groaning, he sat up, stretching to try and click his body back into the places they should be after that uncomfortable nap.

 

Thankfully, nobody had bothered joining him in his booth for the trip, though he couldn’t be quite sure that Alex hadn’t snuck in whilst he was asleep and stolen his trunk. He sighed, mentally punching himself in the face for thinking about them lot again. He had lots of mixed emotions concerning everything, really. One the one hand, he was happy that he’d done it. It had been eating him up keeping it to himself, and it had to be done for not just his sake, but for Cat’s as well. Though, on the other hand, he was lonely. Really, really lonely, and it hurt him more than he wanted to admit. He’d lost all of his old friends from his house, and he couldn’t befriend anyone else because of how he’d treated them before.

 

Not that he’d want to become friends with those lot, anyway. There was much too large of a risk that he could start fraternising with one of _them_ , and everyone knows a Pureblood has a much better place than with a Mudblood. That was just a given.

 

Dan rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up properly. It was already dark out, which meant they should be nearing the station soon, which meant that Dan had to have his stuff ready. Plus, he was _starving_. Really, he regretted not taking those pancakes his mum had offered him that morning. _Fuck it,_ he thought. _Sweets from the trolley it is._

 

Poking his head around the booth door to see if anyone was loitering in the corridor outside, he decided that the coast was clear, and made a venture down the right side of the train. The corridors were way too small for Dan’s liking – they were way too narrow to fit one person down it, let alone a trolley ( _props to that little old lady,_ he thought), and being a towering 6 ft, he had to keep his head down as to not knock into the ceiling, which didn’t sit right with the crick in his neck from his nap.

 

“And that’ll be two sickles, ten knuts please, dear.” Dan whirled around to see the flowery pinafore of the old trolley lady a few booths down from where he was, whacking his head slightly against one of the shutters on a nearby window. Cursing his own stupidity, Dan walked briskly to the trolley lady, his hunger getting the best of him as he sped down the corridor. This proved to be his downfall – literally – as he managed to hurl himself straight into a girl coming out of one of the booths, and they both collapsed onto the floor of the tiny corridor.

 

The pair were in the midst of their own apologies, when they looked up and locked eyes, realising who they were.

 

“Oh, Dan.”

 

“Hey, Cat,” Dan mumbled sheepishly, clumsily fumbling as he tried to pull himself from the floor. Did he ever mention how much he hated those narrow corridors?

 

Just as Dan was about to head in the other direction, without food (though his head won that battle with his stomach), Cat grabbed his forearm gently.

 

“Hey, can I talk to you a sec?” Cat smiled up to him with a genuine sincerity in her eyes and smile, and Dan guessed that must’ve done something to his head, because he found himself trailing along behind her as she led him back down the corridor into an empty booth not too far away. The walk there was longer in Dan’s head than it actually was, but that didn’t stop him from worrying. His hands had started to clam up as infinite possibilities swam through his head with every step along the bland, brown carpet leading to the booth. This is it, he thought. This is the end. If anyone can read my thoughts right now, tell mum I loved her, and tell dad that he’s a dick.

 

She sat herself down on one of the fabric seats, and indicated for Dan to sit opposite her after he’d been awkwardly hovering in the doorway for few moments, looking extremely uncomfortable. When he sat down, he’d hoped that Cat would say whatever she had to say, but after a few seconds of awkward picking at the loose threads in the seat, Dan found that he had to say something to break the tension, or before he cried. Life really wasn't working out in Dan's favour today.

 

“Look, Cat, I feel really bad about every-“

 

“Shh.” Cat effectively shut him up there, giving him the ‘point’ that all women seem to have perfected that can make even the most reckless men shut up for a minute. He looked up at her, expecting to see a fiery ball of rage, but instead he saw only kind, brown eyes and a warm smile playing at her lips. “Just listen, yeah?” Dan nodded, though didn’t say a word, so Cat took that as a sign to continue.

 

“Obviously, I didn’t want what happened to have happened. It sucks that it all came out the way it did- oh, no pun intended,” Cat giggled slightly at that, flashing her infamous grin, and Dan found himself smiling, too, which helped ease the tension between them. “But, what happened was shitty. I was heartbroken, and no, I’m not here to lecture you or anything. I just want to sort it out, you know? I don’t want to spend all of our O.W.L. year feeling awkward every time we pass in the dungeons, because I know how unnecessarily shit that would make this whole thing.

 

“So, I want to just…forget. Forget everything that happened, and move on from it. I’ve had the whole summer to deal with my own problems, and now I see you have a lot more of your own, so I want to be there for you, if you’ll let me.”

 

A swarm of emotions rushed through Dan. He had no idea what to make of what just happened. He didn’t expect to even see Cat today, yet alone have the conversation where she’d ask them to be friends again. Or was she even asking that? Was this all just a sick joke so he’d feel the pain she felt last year? Was it some cruel attempt to make it up to him because she’d outed him behind his back? He had no idea. Though, she still had that look in her eye, that look of sincerity and compassion that had lured Dan into this booth with her in the first place. He looked into her eyes, and he felt like she could never lie to him, or hurt him in a way that would break that trust held in that gaze. He felt that she could never hurt him like he hurt her. Suddenly, he felt a thousand times better, and with that, Dan did something that took him completely by surprise.

 

He laughed.

 

Full on, toothy laugh. Like the one you would do with an old friend; a guttural, genuine laugh. Cat seemed to find it very amusing, and was actually giggling along with Dan, even if she did look slightly concerned.

 

“Umm…Dan?” she asked, still laughing slightly through her words. Dan had no idea why he'd started laughing; it was quite hysterical, actually. In all of these horrible scenarios were flooding through his head (most of them involving either a kick in the nuts or at least a punch in the face), he'd never imagined that Cat just wanted a reasonable conversation. In fact, it couldn't have turned out better if he'd planned it out himself. He'd been worrying over nothing, and something in Dan's brain found that absolutely hilarious.

 

"I'm-" Dan interrupted himself by laughing again, and Cat raised an eyebrow at him inquisitively. After composing himself a little, he continued. "I'm sorry, it's just I planned this out a lot more morbidly in my head, and I guess I'm more relieved than anything." Dan stopped laughing with a small splutter, and found that Cat was smiling from opposite him, shaking her head slightly in disbelief.

 

"Sure, why not," Cat chuckled, though she took a more hushed tone than Dan did. This brought Dan down a little, and made him realise what was happening around him. She stared at his face for a moment, and studied him, trying to gauge his emotions, but Dan didn't falter. "So, what does that mean? In relation to us?"

 

"I think it means...yes," Dan replied, sounding out his words very carefully as he planned them in his head.

 

"Yes?" Cat asked, the smile playing on her face again.

 

"Yes, I'm more than happy to forget." For some reason, Dan found himself grinning widely for the first time in what felt like forever. Cat joined in on this, and all of the tension that had previously surrounded them melted in an instant, and for a moment, Dan forgot everything else that had happened on this train ride.

 

"Okay," Cat finally replied. "Okay, that's brilliant. And, just to let you know, nobody knows about you being..."

 

"Yeah, that's good. Thank you," Dan replied, locking eyes with her again.

 

"You're very welcome. I meant what I said all that time when I said that I cared, you know?"

 

"I know." With one final small smile at one another, Cat stood to leave, and Dan soon followed. Though, as they reached the doorway, Cat turned to face Dan.

 

"Thank you," she said. Not giving Dan a chance to reply, she quickly turned and practically skipped her way back to the booth that she came out of originally, obviously abandoning whatever she was doing before she bumped into Dan. Dan just smiled, replaying what had just happened, and already storing it in a place in his brain to treasure. Though, he didn't have long to treasure it, because his stomach quickly caught up to him, and Christ was he hungry.

 

_Now, where was this trolley lady?_

 

*****

 

Part Six – My Own Worst Enemy

 

Phil had no idea what Flitwick wanted with him. Really, he didn't. Not the faintest idea. That's what made him worried.

 

He went through a checklist in his head of all the possible things the old wizard could possible want to speak to him about:

 

  1. **Phil was failing Charms.** Though, he was quick to strike this one from his mental checklist, because it was common knowledge that Phil was good at Charms. Freakishly good. Like, if Merlin chose one person to pass his casting abilities onto once he died, it would've undoubtedly gone to Phil. Well, he wasn't that good, but he was definitely in the clear, especially considering that he got an Outstanding on his Charms O.W.L., though, he doesn't like to brag. Probably why he's a Hufflepuff.



 

  1. **Phil had received the role of Head Boy.** Now, this one was a long shot. Phil was certain that he didn't get the position of Head Boy; the people who did receive their badges and letters during the summer along with their requirements for that year, so once it Phil had been delivered only one letter with that red stamp on the back, he knew that he hadn't gotten the position. He had been a Prefect since fifth year, but he didn't stand a chance against Charlie McDonnell, though he was oddly okay with it. Charlie was an amazing student, and probably would've done better than Phil could have, anyway.



 

  1. **Phil had some duties to take care of.** Phil did have quite a lot of duties for all of the extra-curricular activities Phil took part in to keep himself busy. Not only was he a Prefect of two years, now, he was also a Chaser on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, and a talented one at that. He was never really the sporty type, but Quidditch had always interested him, so he'd been on the team since his fourth year, and had proved to be a valuable member of the team. Although, this meant that Phil had a lot of duties assigned to him, whether it be training the newer members, or just sorting inventory.



 

This one was more probable than the other two, Phil had to admit, though he didn't mind entertaining his mind with these absurd possibilities. Though, it did take some self-control to not spend his walk up to the third floor Charms corridor thinking up some wild picture involving some pixies, or maybe even a particularly bad-tempered Flobberworm. Still, with all of this, Phil was no closer to figuring out why the heck Flitwick called him to his classroom by a note given to him by some Ravenclaw third year, who had rushed to find him after he had got into his carriage to make his way up to the castle. You would've thought by the way she was running that she had found a troll in the Forbidden Forest, but it was only for a scrap of parchment, which was what worried Phil about this unexpected journey even more.

 

After his highly entertaining train ride (which may or may not have led to an intense food fight, with Phil and Dean destroying Chris and PJ on account of the eggy mayo sandwiches Phil’s mum had packed for him), the five had made their way onto the platform at Hogsmeade and onto the carriages. When the Ravenclaw messenger had left, all conversation turned to the horrible scenarios that could come out of this meeting. That didn’t help Phil’s inner turmoil in the slightest, as when he finally got into the castle, he found himself getting clammy hands whilst wishing that the Grand Staircase would move just that little bit faster.

 

Phil was on the third floor now, one that he’d frequented in his previous six years at Hogwarts. He counted the rooms he passed, noting the Trophy Room, the Armor Gallery, the statue of the Humpback Witch. He knew the layout like the back of his hand, but the calm and collected way he navigated the corridor didn’t reflect how Phil was in his mind – skittish and panicked. Though, he tried not to let that get the better of him as he turned a corner into the Charms corridor. He let his gaze wonder out of the large glass windows lining the corridor as he marched through it, observing how the sun had already started to set, even though it was only early evening. Phil entertained the thought about whether it was some horrible foreshadowing, but he quickly canned that thought.

 

The end wall was growing ever closer now, and Phil become painfully aware of having to go this alone, with every step he took reverberating against the old, brick walls. _This is it_ , Phil thought. _This is the end of my wizarding career. I can kiss that dream job of being in Magical Law Enforcement goodbye._

 

Phil reached the end of the corridor and turned to his right, where the door to Flitwick’s classroom was right in front of him. He took a bold step forwards, and put his fist forwards to knock on the door, but he hesitated. _It’s not too late to run away_ , he thought. No, he couldn’t afford to let himself think that way. If this was a fight or flight situation, Phil was sure as hell going to fight to the death. He couldn’t let himself down like that.

 

He knocked loudly, and slightly winced at the sound ringing through the otherwise desolate corridor.

 

“Come in!” was the shrill reply of what was presumably Flitwick sitting inside. Phil took a deep breath, gave himself a mental pat on the back, and grabbed the door handle, walking in somewhat confidently. Flitwick was sitting at his desk, writing with a quill that was probably longer than Phil’s whole arm. The room was decorated with bookshelves crawling all the way up to the ceiling, and the wooden desks were arranged in neat rows. Even though Phil had been in this classroom many times since his first year, he still loved the cosy feel it had to it. He always studied in there in his fifth year, and Flitwick was one of the reasons that he’d gotten such high grades in his O.W.L.s. He wouldn’t flush all of that down the drain, would he?

 

“Good evening, Professor,” Phil started, walking through the middle aisle of the desks up to Flitwick’s own. The man indicted that Phil pulled up a chair from one of the other tables, but Phil just put his hand up as a sign of polite decline.

 

“Good evening, Phillip,” Professor Flitwick said, seeming to be his usual cheery self. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called you here at such an odd time-“

 

“I am, actually,” Phil said, almost breathing out the words in anticipation.

 

“Well, it’s nothing to worry about, you haven’t done anything _wrong_ , or anything like that.” At that, Phil’s shoulders visibly dropped, and he released the breath that he wasn’t aware he’d been holding. “It’s to do with your Prefect duties, actually.”

 

“Oh, wouldn’t Professor Sprout be doing that?” Phil asked, as usually his Head of House would be the one assigning duties to him.

 

“Oh, well, this case is a special one to me. You see, it’s concerning one of my Charms students,” Flitwick finished, placing his enormous quill on the desk in front of him. At that, Phil let his inner confusion show on his face, as he prodded for more information.

 

“I’m sorry, Professor, but I don’t see what this has to do with me?” Phil said, more as a question than a statement. Flitwick obviously noticed Phil’s misunderstanding, as he took the piece of parchment he’d been writing on, and pushed it to the front of the desk where Phil was standing. Phil picked it up gently, and skimmed over it. “I’m tutoring?”

 

“Yes, Phillip,” Flitwick said. “It is, after all, the responsibility of a Prefect to tutor other students who require such help, and I couldn’t think of a better man for the job.” Flitwick beamed up at Phil, who was still sporting his confused expression, but now some intrigue was now mixed in. Though, he quickly remembered who he was with, and smiled.

 

“Okay, that’s perfectly fine,” Phil said, tucking the piece of parchment into the back pocket of his black skinny jeans (he hadn’t had time to change into his robes yet). “Do you know what time, what day, all of that?”

 

“Well, I know you have your Quidditch practices, so I’ll have to speak with him and just make sure we can work around that, but I don’t think it will be a problem. I shall send a note down to you once I know the details, but expect it to be sometime soon,” Flitwick said, scribbling something down on a scrap piece of parchment, presumably notes so he remembered to ask Phil’s tutee whatever he needed to. A moment passed, and as Phil went to open his mouth to speak, he heard the ring of the bell tower, letting him know that it was nearly time for dinner.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry Professor, I’d love to stay, but I have to head down to my dormitory to get rea-“

 

“Of course, Phillip, I don’t want you wasting your time with a stuffy old man like me,” Flitwick joked, waving his hand as if dismissing Phil. Phil nodded at him, and sharply took off in the opposite direction.

 

 _Well,_ thought Phil, _that wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it would be._

*****

 

Part Seven – In Too Deep

“Batman!”

 

“No, no, no. Hazel. What you don’t seem to be understa-“

 

“Oh, don’t ‘Hazel’ me, Mr. Howard, I know very well what I’m talking abou-“

 

“Well, clearly you don’t, else you’d be able to see quite clearly how Spiderman would _destroy_ Batman!”

 

“That’s just too far now, Jack.”

 

“What do you mea-“

 

Hazel and Jack had their friendly debate interrupted (very rudely, might Jack add) by Alex clearing his throat behind them. The pair had been sitting in the Slytherin common room, with Jack sitting on the edge of the emerald green armchair in front of the marble fireplace, and Hazel sitting on the edge of the sofa adjacent to him. They’d been going on for what felt like ages about who would win in a fight; Batman or Spiderman, laughing all the while. As the house Muggle comic book and film experts, Jack and Hazel frequently debated about all things superhero, but it was all in good fun. They enjoyed it, really.

 

Though, Alex didn’t.

 

“Come on, Jackie, we’ve got to unpack before _someone_ comes up, and I dunno, starts something with us,” Alex said, leaning on the back of the armchair where Jack was sat, completely ignoring Hazel’s presence. This didn’t seem to amuse her, as she was shooting Jack a look of ‘do you honestly put up with this guy?’, but Jack chose to ignore it.

 

“Oh, come off it, Alex. Don’t you think the poor kid has had enough from us?” Jack said, rolling his eyes and looking towards Hazel, as if to spark up their debate again. She shared his look, rolling her eyes herself, and directing her attention back to her and Jack’s conversation.

 

“All I’m saying is that Batman has so much strength, and not to mention th-“

 

“Jack, come on, we’re off,” Alex interrupted, now standing completely between Hazel and Jack. That’s when Hazel lost her temper a little.

 

“Excuse me, Alex, but Jack and I are having a conversation, one that you are now quite rudely interrupting, so I’m sure if you give him a little while, he can join you and your little pals up in the dormitory, to get up to no good, I’m sure.” During her little rant, Hazel had stood up, and even though she was shorter than Alex, she still had a very impressive stance, and her facial expression proved that she was one to be challenged. Though, Alex never backed down from a challenge.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, who are you again?” Alex asked, a cocky grin playing at his expression of false confusion. “Because _I_ don’t remember you, so I’m sure you’re someone of no importance whatsoever.”

 

Hazel could’ve probably lifted a whole building with the sheer intensity that her eyebrows were raised. She scoffed, obviously stunned with how Alex was acting.

 

“You come over here, interrupt a perfectly good conversation, and then resort to pretty insults to try and defend yourself?”

 

“Yes, that’s exactly right.”

 

Hazel hesitated for a moment, her expression as hard as stone, but then she turned her focus to Jack, who was still sat on the armchair, looking at the ground at this exchange happened. Jack looked up to meet her expectant gaze, as if she wanted him to say something, or confront Alex in some way. When it became clear that Jack wasn’t going to do either of those things, Hazel scoffed again, looking between the pair.

 

“Unbelievable,” she mumbled, making her way towards the girl’s dormitory. She stopped only for a moment, and turned around to face Jack again. “You know he doesn’t own you, don’t you?” she shouted across the common room. It was Alex who spoke for Jack.

 

“I do more than you do, bitch!” Hazel just walked up the stairs to the girls’ dormitory, done with their conversation, if it could even be called that. “Right, come on now, Jackie, we’ve gotta get ready,” Alex said, as if nothing had happened. Jack scoffed then, running his hand through his dirty blond hair, and refusing to make eye contact with Alex. Alex seemed to notice something was wrong, as he sat on the edge of the sofa where Hazel was previously sat.

 

“Oh, come on,” Alex started, exaggerating his words. “Her? Really?”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jack exclaimed, obviously offended.

 

“Well, I mean, you can’t _seriously_ be into her, right?” Alex asked uncertainly, laughing weakly at the end of his statement. That only made Jack even more frustrated.

 

“What does it matter? I like her, I like talking to her, and I can actually hold a decent conversation with her about things we _like_ , and you just had to come along and ruin it, didn’t you?” Jack said angrily. Alex looked taken aback at that, not expecting Jack to burst out like that at him.

 

“Alright, Jackie, don-“

 

“Don’t. Call me that. Please,” Jack said, somewhat quieter than before.

 

“Alright. Just don’t freak out. I don’t know where this is coming from, but I don’t like it. It’s not you, just…don’t let her get into your head, okay?” Alex said defensively, sitting further back in his seat as though if he got too close to Jack, he may explode.

 

“She’s…she’s not getting in my head, she’s right. You don’t own me,” Jack said, his confidence taking a back seat for his newly surfacing insecurity. They were getting personal, and Jack always hated that, but he was too far gone now. There’s no turning back. He had to say it now, or forever hold his peace.

 

“I never said I did,” Alex started, confused at how Jack was behaving. His tone suggested a warning, a sign telling Jack that he’d better stop now, and just agree, and go along with it. There was something so bitterly tempting about that, but he just couldn’t. Not now.

 

“You don’t have to say it, it’s how you act. How you parade me around, how we always do what _you_ want to do, how you never even ask me if _I’m_ doing okay.” Jack never made eye contact with Alex; he kept his gaze firmly planted on the ground by his feet. Though, he did see the flash of anger cross Alex’s face from the corner of his eye.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry Jack, would you like a _hug_? Would you like some chocolate and a back rub? Would that soothe the emotional _pain_ I’ve given you, yeah?” Alex said, his reply dripping with sarcasm and patronisation. The look he gave Jack was one of near disgust, and to an outsider, it wouldn’t look like they were best friends at all. “Fucking fag.”

 

That last word is what hit Jack the most. The one that made him realise the gravity of the situation – if he said the wrong thing, did the wrong thing, then Alex could easily throw him away. Just like they did to Dan. Jack _couldn’t_ end up like that. This is all that he had, he couldn’t risk something like that.

 

“I…I’m gonna go for a walk. Calm down and all that,” Jack said, all anger leaving his voice, and a hint of fear slipping in.

 

“I think that’s a good idea,” Alex said, still with that hostile warning tone. The pair hadn’t made eye contact a single time throughout their little argument; Jack had his eyes on the floor still, but Alex was giving daggers to the side of Jack’s head. With no hesitation, Jack stood up, striding across the cold, stone floor of the Slytherin common room. The stone wall that stood to the right of where they had been sitting in front of the fireplace slid open as soon as Jack had walked up to it, at what felt like a quicker pace than usual, as if it had sensed Jack’s urgency.

 

Jack knew that his thoughts were too clouded by anger and frustration for him to think clearly, so he decided to let his feet take him somewhere, anywhere, where he can just sit and think. He usually tried to avoid doing this – thinking meant that he had to face whatever he had going on, and he really couldn’t afford to do that. Though, this time, it seemed that he’d left himself no choice.

 

His bold strides echoed grandly throughout the dungeons, and he didn’t even pay attention to the other students that he passed. Luckily, he’d gotten changed into his robes as soon as he’d come in to the dormitory, so he didn’t have to worry about making a swift trip back to the dungeons before the meal in the Great Hall. Before he knew it, Jack was in the entrance hall, and was making his way out of the grand doors that led into the castle itself.

 

The evening was crisp; the air was sharp against Jack’s rapidly moving body, and the calm silence of the Hogwarts grounds was soothing to Jack’s screaming thoughts. He didn’t even know he’d gotten to the edge of the lake until he was sitting down on the grass, leaning back on his hands, with his legs outstretched in front of him.

 

He took some time to think about what had just happened; he wasn’t _really_ upset with Alex because of what happened with Hazel. Sure, it was a dick move, but that isn’t what had set him off. He’d had to be pretty pathetic if he was going to let something like that end up in such a stupid argument. No, this was a long time coming. Jack was Alex’s best friend, without a doubt, but there was still something about their friendship that just didn’t sit right with him. How Alex always prioritised himself, and how if Jack pissed him off even slightly, he’d just cut him out as if he’d never mattered in his life before that. It was as if when he was around Jack, he’d put on a mask. Something he could hide behind as he did whatever he wanted.

 

It was as if he never cared at all.

 

Though, that didn’t mean there weren’t good times. Alex really did know how to have a laugh (even if not everything they did was completely okay in the eyes of the law, but, oh well), and he was always there whenever Jack just wanted to have a good time.

 

Jack just needed to figure out what he wanted.

 

Well, he already had. That was his problem. He knew he could never be himself around Alex, because he’d be cut off, cast out, and ridiculed for the rest of his life. Not to mention his dad, either.

 

Shit.

 

*****

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, that was long (psst, they all will be).
> 
> Please, please, please leave a comment (good and bad) about what you think! I thrive off of attention.
> 
> Thank you for reading, expect an update soon!
> 
> -Angel


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